The Sentinella Costa West is a community magazine aimed at expats who have decided to move to Spain. It is distributed in the  Costa Del Sol  region of Spain (in the province of Malaga) covering the  West Coast of Malaga,  from Riveria del Sol to San Roque on the coast  and inland to Ronda. The Sentinella Costa West has been established for two years.

There are  four editions of The Sentinella Global Magazine Network which has been established for over 5 years.

Our magazines and websites are designed to put a smile on you face! Feel free to send in your own funny jokes/ stories/experiences of life here in Spain … oh, and don´t forget to tell us what you would like us to feature…

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.  For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.  How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed…..

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.  For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years?  That’s a pretty long time to perform.  How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God agreed……

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.  How about twenty years and I’ll give back to you the other forty?”
And God agreed again……

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the human said, “Only twenty years?  Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God.  ”You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

At the time of writing this, the party is still in full swing … the passion is alive, Spain is living a dream … as very well   deserved winners of the FIFA 2010 World Cup.

Saturday 24^th July saw the highest attendance at the Mijas racecourse this season, over 7,000 people enjoyed another warm “Night at the races” with the theme of “Ladies Night” organised by the Costa del Disco group. Hundreds of the coasts beautiful Ladies arrived sporting a variety of headgear and stunning outfits making Mijas a contender to Ascot for fashion at the races!

The first of five races started at 10.30pm allowing families to enjoy a meal at one of the many eateries within the course. Pre race entertainment was provided by local musician and DJ, Ian Jacks with his “Flashback to the 80s” show in the VIP terrace bar “Le Chic”.

Throughout the evening displays of flamenco were given by a group whose youngest dancers were only 8 years old.

Winner of the closely contested third race was Missin,  jockey Ivan Lopez, trainer  Blas Rama and head groom  Alejandro

*Pictures by W.Thomas*

This week the race night changes from Saturday to Friday for the remaining two race nights of the summer season.

Friday 30^th July the gates open to the public at 8.30pm and the first race is at 10.30pm. This night is dedicated to Mijas with free sangria given out to all and an exhibition of handicraft from the Mijas arts centre.

Entertainment will include a special performance by Frank Burke (formerly of one of the 70s biggest disco bands – HEATWAVE) who will be treating the crowds to his “Greatest disco hits of the 70s” show, which of course will include all those “Heatwave” classics. Frank, and local group “Traffic Jam”, whose repertoire includes some great U2 tribute songs, can be seen in the Live Music venue “Le Chic” from 9pm.

Entry to the racecourse is only 5 euros and under 18s and over 65s get in for FREE. All attractions within the racecourse are free entry.

For more information about the Mijas Race Nights :

Call  952 661 819

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish.  “I want to live forever,” I said.

“Sorry,” said the fairy, but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish.

“Fine,,” I said,, “Then I want to die when England win the world cup.”

“You crafty bugger!” said the fairy.

Feeling hot hot hot! That about sums up the past few weeks, the Summer is finally in full swing! The sea or the swimming pool is the favored place of many at the moment I’m sure.

Well ,what do we have in store for you this issue?

Great news for those of you wanting a reliable private medical service with English speaking doctors: SOS medicos 24hs have expanded and are now covering the whole of the Costa West area (from La Alcaidesa to Calahonda). Check out their great services and rates and don’t forget to mention The Sentinella when you contact them. (Thank you!)

We welcome the wonderful Anne Manson from Annie B’s kitchen to our team of contributors. If you have any recipe requests be sure to send them to us.

Camino Holidays, experts on Southern Andalucia, share their knowledge of Seville with us (don’t forget the 10% discount on their beautiful tours!) and we visit La Concepción in Malaga.

Oh, and before I forget, I get to go a bit overboard about the Spanish football teams well deserved, recent victory.

Thanks again to all of you who have sent in lots of funnies for us to publish … you know who you are and please do keep them coming.

Have a fantastic August & September!

http://www.houseforsaleinsouthwestfrance.com/

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ‘Chicken Surprise’.

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

‘Good grief, did you see that?’ she asks her husband.

He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

‘Please sir,’ says the waiter, ‘what you order?’

The husband replies, ‘Chicken Surprise.’

You’re going to love this……………….

You’re going to hate yourself for loving this!…………

‘Ah! So sorry,’ says the waiter, ‘I bring you Peeking Duck!’

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. ‘So, how is everything going?’ inquired God.

‘It is all so beautiful, God,’ she replied. ‘The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It’s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They’re a real pain..’

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more ‘symmetrically balanced’.

‘That’s a fair point,’ replied God, ‘But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.’

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

‘ Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?’

‘Just fantastic,’ she replied, ‘But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.’

God thought for a moment and said, ‘You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let’s see….where did I put that useless Tit?’

Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than all that rubbish about the rib?